Men don’t read Harlequin romance novels. They don’t pore over magazines a year in advance of their wedding. In fact, there’s no Modern Groom magazine for them.
Men ‘do’ romance because it makes us – a girlfriend, a fiancée, a wife – happier. It fulfills our need, not his. He uses romance to set the stage and move him closer to what he really wants – sex, affection, closeness and intimacy.
It’s a strategy, and a smart one at that. Strategy in support of a goal means he has a plan to achieve it. Some men are more imaginative than others, so romance scenarios range from dinner to diamonds, from a kiss behind the ear to a night at the Four Seasons. So when we say a man is romantic, we’re really saying that he knows our script and how to play his lines.
My husband had picked up enough cultural clues to understand how much romance I needed. Did he need the chocolates, flowers , gifts and trips that were part of my romantic scenario? Not likely. Given how busy he was, he probably resented having to stop off and pick up the goodies for me. What he did need was to understand my ideas of how romance was supposed to work between us. That way, we both got what we wanted.
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