Some Financial Advisors Ahead of the Curve

Over the years, I’ve met dozens of financial advisors in the San Francisco Bay Area. Most are just fine. They crunch the numbers and work the charts, and when markets do well, they can do no wrong. The true test of their relationship with their clients comes when times are bad -  When fear is high, loss is painful and trust is compromised.

Some financial advisors understand these pendulum swings in mood and confidence and use the undulations to think outside the box. I like to think of these firms who understand the soft side of financial planning as the harbingers of how business will be done in the future.

For example, Paul King, president of King Wealth Planning Inc. has been presenting community programs to educate and empower people , and especially women, about how to lead an enlightened financial life.  The cost of these programs comes right off King’s bottom line. But the good will it generates can’t be measured in dollars. It is measured in trust.

Can the firm point to a direct correlation between what the programs cost them and what they receive in return? Not yet, but I’m hoping the coming years will repay the firm with a cornucopia of business because of what they were willing to provide at the front end.

Another creative soft side approach is that followed by Lasecke Weil LLC Wealth Advisory Group, headed by Tracy Lasecke and Curt Weil. They know that baby boomers and their parents often find it difficult to begin the crucial conversations they need to have about planning. They also believe that training their own team in how to be more sensitive to intergenerational issues makes it easier for the planning process itself to begin.

You can learn more about the soft side of financial planning. It's as much about hearts as charts.

http://www.financialconversationswithheart.com

http://www.kingwealth.com.

http://www.laseckeweil.com

Marrying for Money 2011 Style

Marrying for money is back in style. Well, at least it's not the dirty little secret it used to be. There's a spate of new books to advise women who want to marry rich how to get their man.The recent issue of Town & Country Magazine devotes a whole issue to love, marriage and money.

None of the writers about love are sure what it is. They know what marriage is, and while no one openly admits that they married for money, most people aren't fooled when they meet the mate. For example, does anyone think that the 24-year-old engaged to Hugh Hefner, 60 years her senior, is marrying him to build a life together?

Daphne Merkin, rethinking her own refusal to marry for money, writes "If the man is rich enough, one overlooks - everything. He can be bald, hairy, have a stomach that hangs like an apron and be really under-endowed." She summarizes,"...there's a lot you'll have to stomach along the way but it will be easier if you keep your eye on the bottom line."

I've met women who won't admit that they married for money, but freely confess that they stay married because of the money. I remember a woman in one of my seminars who said “Am I happily married? That's beside the point. I know what I’ve got – and at least he has money." Many of the other women agreed with her. Another woman said  "Don't you feel like you sold your soul just for the money?"

Is there a difference between going in for the money and staying in for money? Is it wrong to feel that money makes someone more interesting? If marriage buys you a lifestyle you want, are you selling your soul if you’re opting for security and stability over romantic love and passion?

What would you tell your daughter?

Marrying for money is back in style. Well, at least it's not the dirty little secret it used to be. There's a spate of new books to advise women who want to marry rich how to get their man.The recent issue of Town & Country Magazine devotes a whole issue to love, marriage and money.

None of the writers about love are sure what it is. They know what marriage is, and while no one openly admits that they married for money, most people aren't fooled when they meet the mate. For example, does anyone think that the 24-year-old engaged to Hugh Hefner, 60 years her senior, is marrying him to build a life together?

Daphne Merkin, rethinking her own refusal to marry for money, writes "If the man is rich enough, one overlooks - everything. He can be bald, hairy, have a stomach that hangs like an apron and be really under-endowed." She summarizes,"...there's a lot you'll have to stomach along the way but it will be easier if you keep your eye on the bottom line."

I've met women who won't admit that they married for money, but freely confess that they stay married because of the money. I remember a woman in one of my seminars who said “Am I happily married? That's beside the point. I know what I’ve got – and at least he has money." Many of the other women agreed with her. Another woman said  "Don't you feel like you sold your soul just for the money?"

Is there a difference between going in for the money and staying in for money? Is it wrong to feel that money makes someone more interesting? If marriage buys you a lifestyle you want, are you selling your soul if you’re opting for security and stability over romantic love and passion?

What would you tell your daughter?

Financial Advisors and the F word

Oh, it's not what you're thinking. The F word I'm thinking about is fiduciary, meaning that your financial advisor is required to put your best interests as the client first, no matter what.

Divorce Isn't Always Personal

It started three years ago when Inge told her husband she planned a face lift and he told her they couldn’t afford it. She thought they could. She asked Harry to show her the books.   He got angry, called her a shrew, a nag, and an ungrateful bitch of a wife, then stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

I met Inge when she attended my seminar a few weeks after that incident. Recently, I saw her again on the walking trail. Animated and radiant, she looked years younger than I remembered her. She brought me up to date.

“After your seminar, I realized I had a legal right to know all about our marital finances,” she said. “At dinner that night, I told Harry that I wanted to participate and understand our marital finances. He gave me the same old stuff, told me not to worry, not to nag, just to trust him, blah, blah, blah.

“For the first time, I really lost it. I told Harry that since he wouldn’t share information, I was going to get it some other way. He didn’t believe me. He called me crazy, menopausal, said I needed a shrink. I threatened divorce, figuring that was the only way I was going to learn anything about our finances. Harry warned me that I didn’t have any money to pay for a lawyer.

“I searched until I found a lawyer who was willing to delay payment until after the divorce. He got a forensic accountant who dug back two decades for information about Harry’s business and investments, most of which I knew nothing about. By the time the accountant was done, Harry was pleading with me not to go through with the divorce. I told him it was nothing personal, but at that point, I wasn’t going back.”

Inge’s eyes sparkled as she continued.

“The divorce was final a year ago. For the first time in my life, I had money of my own. After paying the lawyer, the first thing I did was have that face lift.  I’ve also signed up for some business and investing classes.”

“ How is Harry doing with all this?” I asked.

“Well, I was mad at him, but still loved him. He’s a great-looking sexy man, we have the three children and we had a good life,” Inge said. “I just didn’t like how he lorded it over me about money. After the face lift, Harry kept telling me how beautiful I am, just like the girl he married, that he could never love another woman and would I consider getting together with him again. I said I’d consider it, but not without a prenup.”

Update? They remarried, with a prenup.