Saturday, October 13, 2007

Is It Too Easy To Get Married?

Forget the wedding details. Forget the craziness of planning, the obsession with perfection, the financial obligation. That’s the hard part of getting married. The truth is it’s too easy to get married. In fact, it’s easier to get married than it is to get a driver’s license or buy a gun.

If you want a driver’s license, you need to go through driver’s education of some sort, then pass a written test and go for a test drive with someone from the Department of Motor Vehicles. For the gun, you must wait 10 days, or whatever the law is in your state, while the authorities run identity checks on you.

In my county in California, you can be married at the county courthouse within 30 minutes of applying for a marriage license. All that’s required is that the bride and groom be present, be 18 years old, show ID, and pay cash of $78 for the license. That’s it. No blood test. No communication skills evaluated. No competency demonstrated. No criminal background check. No credit checks. No financial literacy needed . No waiting period.

This huge decision to create a legal and financial partnership is completely in the hands of the two people involved with little or no input or guidance from marriage experts. Even premarital counseling usually addresses emotional and spiritual compatibility, but rarely, financial compatibility. Considering that couples are entering a legal and financial contract in addition to a love relationship, wouldn’t it make sense for couples to learn the financial consequences of taking that big step?

In other words, the state makes it appallingly easy to get married – and miserably complicated to work your way through the financial consequences when a marriage ends. Here’s the sad truth – Going into marriage, it’s all about love. When marriage ends, it’s all about money.

Shouldn’t something more be required of two people who are presumably making a lifetime contract? Shouldn’t it be harder to get married?

What do you think?

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