Do you know anyone who would admit to marrying for money? If they admitted to it, would you think less of them, even though they were giving you an honest answer?
I meet lots of women who don’t admit directly that they married for money, but freely confess that they stay married because of the money. I remember a woman in one seminar who said “ I know what I’ve got – and at least he has money.” Many of the women agreed with her. One woman said “ Doesn’t it make you feel like you sold your soul just for the money?”
So is there a difference between going in for money and staying in for money?
I remember reading about Hilary Clinton who was asked by an interviewer why she stayed married to her husband after the public humiliation of the Monica scandal and incidents with other women. Factoring out her political ambitions, which probably figured into her equation, she answered “Bill Clinton is the most interesting man I know." I liked her answer. She was honest without being defensive or defending him. Having an interesting companion is one of her highest values in marriage. It's not for everyone, but it works for her.
Is it wrong to believe that money makes someone more interesting? If marriage buys you a lifestyle you want, are you selling your soul if you’re opting for security and stability over romantic love and passion? In other cultures, marriages built on a premise of financial security and stability are not necessarily loveless. Couples can grow to love one another based on a more solid footing without the destructive impact of romantic illusion.
I think we love the idea of being in love. We want the euphoria, the passion and exuberance , the exhilaration of falling in love. But if it isn’t happening, what a bonus it is when your mate evolves into the most interesting person you know.
What do you think?
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