You might marry more than once, but future nuptials won’t be in the same league as this first one.
Clothed in fairy-tale lace, luminous, surrounded by flowers, family, friends, you’re basking in anticipation about happily ever after, chosen by your groom to be his life mate and bear his children. You promise to stand by him in sickness and health for as long as you both shall live.
Until you realize, after the honeymoon, that wedding planning doesn’t prepare you for daily living. From center stage as a bride, you’ve now jumped through the rabbit hole into the real world. Here, people are imperfect, projections rule the roost and all the things you didn’t discuss before marriage come out of the shadows to stalk you. Take money, for instance.
He earns more, but expects you to contribute half. He spends more, but it’s none of your business on what. He has a private checking account but his name is on yours. He uses six credit cards; you use one and his name is on it too. You’re excited to share the news about your raise; you never even know he got one.
Portents of financial abuse? Possibly. During your engagement, you might have noticed how inquisitive he was about your daily activities. You thought it was sweet that he called you so often wanting to know what you were doing, who you were with and when you’d be back. You could have spotted possessive behaviors and obsessive money attitudes before marriage. Hopefully, next time, you will.
In the meantime, have your romantic wedding day, but remember that your gown and his tuxedo carry a disclaimer: These garments do not guarantee a happy marriage. Treat them with care or they will unravel on you.
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