It started three years ago when Inge told her husband she planned a face lift and he told her they couldn’t afford it. She thought they could; she asked Harry to show her the books. He got angry, called her a shrew, a nag, and an ungrateful bitch of a wife, then stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
I met Inge when she attended my seminar a few weeks after that incident. Recently, I saw her again on the walking trail. Animated and radiant, she looked years younger than I remembered her. She brought me up to date.
“After your seminar, I realized I had a legal right to know all about our marital finances,” she said. “At dinner that night, I told Harry that I wanted to participate and understand our marital finances. He gave me the same old stuff, told me not to worry, not to nag, just to trust him, blah, blah, blah.
“For the first time, I really lost it. I told Harry that since he wouldn’t share information, I was going to get it some other way. He called me crazy, menopausal, said I needed a shrink. I threatened divorce, figuring that was the only way I was going to learn anything about our finances. Harry warned me that I didn’t have any money to pay for a lawyer.
“I searched until I found a lawyer who was willing to delay payment until after the divorce. He got a forensic accountant who dug back three decades for information about Harry’s business and investments, most of which I knew nothing about. By the time the accountant was done, Harry was pleading with me not to go through with the divorce. I told him it was nothing personal, but at that point, I wasn’t going back.”
Inge’s eyes sparkled as she continued.
“The divorce was final a year ago. For the first time in my life, I had money of my own. After paying the lawyer, the first thing I did was have that face lift. While I was recovering, I read the books you recommended in the seminar. I’ve also signed up for some business and investing classes.”
“ How is Harry doing with all this?” I asked.
“Well, I was mad at him, but still loved him. We have the three children, two grandchildren on the way and we had a good life,” Inge said. “I just didn’t like how he lorded it over me about money. After the face lift, Harry kept telling me how beautiful I am, just like the girl he married, that he could never love another woman and would I consider getting together with him again. I said I’d consider it, but not without a prenup.”
Should Inge consider it?
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