I have been called cynical, a spoil sport who doesn’t believe in romance. Someone who wants to take the romance out of weddings.
It's not true. I like romance as much as you do, but I want something more important. I want to strengthen financial intimacy in marriage, starting with a eyes wide open approach to what the wedding will really cost.
Hilary Price, a wonderful cartoonist, has a drawing in which a man is kneeling in front of a woman, holding an open jewelry box with an engagement ring. He is saying, “Let’s assume each other’s debt. Trade in our independence for security and societal approval and celebrate with an event that will have cost overruns in the thousands.”
What’s so romantic about starting married life with thousands of dollars in credit card debt for wedding related bills?
When a woman in her late twenties allows a parent to pay for a fantasy wedding where costs run into thousands of dollars, is this a person who is mature enough to sustain a relationship through rocky times and real time challenges?
Is there anything romantic about a couple still paying off that perfect day while they shop (on credit cards) for nursery furniture?
Too many brides still believe that Barbie's Fantasy Wedding guarantees ‘happily ever after’. Unfortunately, it never has...and never will. I'd save my money for a blow-out 20th anniversary party. Why so long? Because 43 percent of first marriages end before the 15th year.
How much more loving and mature would this couple be if they traded in romantic thinking about wedding costs for a financially intimate look at what they can really afford?
Look to the groom on this one. He isn't reading the bridal magazines. He isn't comparing his wedding to that of this friends. He isn't taking his leads from the wedding planner. All he wants is for the perfect day to be over so he can get on to what really matters to him...the honeymoon.
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